In the rare and fleeting moments left alone in his head, Dean's thought of him, closed his eyes and seen Cas hanging there, ragdoll limp and bleeding out. Said he was sorry a dozen times, but never expected anyone to hear it.

"Hurt you," he says now, pushing the words out of his ruined throat. Always hurting him, comes the gleeful reminder inside his head, and Dean closes his eyes. "Sorry, Cas."